11 August 2008


Summer is essentially over. I didn't do a lot of things I said I'd do, including cutting my fingernail biting habit, painting my bathroom (We didn't finish), save up lots of money and helping my mom organize the house. I did, however, clean my room. Wow. One thing off my list. I didn't get into an exercise regime. I didn't go on any trips. I didn't do a lot of things.

In a week, I will be back at school. Back to a schedule of school + work = my life. Back to "Ahh, fuck, I have a test tomorrow and I have work until midnight." Back to groaning whenever I hear my alarm go off for class. Back to homework. Back to studying.

Not much has changed over this summer. I spent a good majority of it writing letters, and sleeping, and cringing when I saw that it was 2 in the afternoon. I spent a lot of nights up until 5am.

This semester will be different. I said that last semester, but I have this feeling that Fall 2008 will be different. I'm motivated. I feel ready, for the first time in my life, to get finished. I want to be done with school. I want to move on to bigger and better things.

I am finding myself more and more frustrated with my job, and wanting to work in the morning more. The interactions are different in the morning; it's busy; there is always something to do. The nights there, while fun, have turned into cleaning cleaning cleaning because it's dead, and giving waters all night.

I've been a lot happier, lately, but at the same time, not so happy. Before I wanted to sleep, now I don't because I don't like the dreams I have. They are hard to explain. They make me feel all blah inside, but when I explain them, they seem so stupid and trivial.

I am starting to get the feeling that people who are "happy" all the time are just faking it. But, I look at those people and am jealous.

This was a pointless blog, full of things I just needed to ramble on about.
It's posted here because I couldn't seem to write it down in my journal.
So, here I turn.

Now playing: Something Corporate - She Paints Me Blue
via FoxyTunes

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