27 July 2008

y so srs, blog?

so here I am, writing a serious blog.
Recently (and by recently, I mean, like, yesterday) I had a conversations with some shall remain unnamed friends (though if they read it, they'd know who they are, which is sort of the point) and we were discussing thinking about the past and whatnot, amongst other things.

I made a realization several months ago that dwelling on the past (specifically speaking: about doing shitty in high school and being stuck in Fresno for now) doesn't do me any good. I recognize my fuck ups, and am learning from them, but I'm not letting them affect the way I live.

It was said (I'm not quite sure of the wording, so I'll paraphrase) sometime in the discussion that if we all had gone to college elsewhere, we'd have different friends and different experiences, and it wouldn't really matter.

Wouldn't really matter.

Maybe I took it personally, but I think it would matter. I think they'd matter. And everyone that I know and have met while being ~trapped~ here would matter. I don't think they're replaceable, but am I? Maybe so.

Maybe we're all just growing up, and some of us just aren't maturing accordingly.

On another subject:
I was also asked "Why are you doing THIS if you don't want THIS as a result?

I never said I didn't want it.
I just don't believe it's now.

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