In a fit of hysterics today, I realised that I truly dislike my real personality. The fake one is okay. I act sweet to people I don't know. They think I'm sweet and when I say that I am in reality not a great person, they say, "What?! No way!"
They don't know me. I don't actually know if anyone in this world actually does know me. I'm not sure if I know myself anyone. I cannot distinguish between the fake and real. Sometimes my stories conflict. Sometimes my lies go too far.
I have an inability to completely open myself up and share my secrets and opinions. I judge people, but I cannot stand to be judged myself. I am a hypocrite. I sometimes inwardly cringe at my blatant disregard for people's feelings - even though I know that whoever is the topic of discussion will never hear what I am saying about them.
I would be so incredibly hurt if I found out someone was doing the same to me...so why do I continuously do it?
In other news, crushes are lame. All they do is make me feel badly about myself.