Today

marks the 50th post in this blog.
Sort of a mini-milestone in blogging history. Other than sharing this tidbit, I don't have much to say. I am going through a weird patch of confusion. I can't seem to separate real feelings from the fake. My moods vary.

I am beginning to feel more empowered and confident in certain aspects of life. Also, in others, I feel as though people don't seem to care as much as I do. And that's painful. I don't know why certain people rush to the aid of some at the drop of a hat, but for me? No. Not even a phone call. Just a "you'll be okay" via instant message.

They figure if I want to talk, I will come to them.

But sometimes you need that push.
You need someone to be like, "Let's talk about this."
You just need....someone.
Someone who will always be there.

You're not.
I am.
And I think I should stop.

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Now playing: Augustana - Where Love Went Wrong
via FoxyTunes

Two posts in a day. Do you feel special?

My blogs have been becoming more and more emo lately, which is what I was hoping to stay away from when I started writing in it. I truly hoped to turn this blog into something fun, and creative, but in the end, it has become an outlet for my frustrations, and at times, my sadness. I must admit, however, that I don't care over much anymore. I never professed at the start of this blog that I would post movie reviews, or book reviews. I post whatever I want, whenever I want.

And really...
That's all I can ask for.
So, carry on, my wayward readers (all two of you out there) and go forth and prosper :]

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Now playing: The Ben Taylor Band - Time of the Season
via FoxyTunes

Really...

I had typed out this huge ranty blog, and posted it.

Then I edited it, and decided, "Why bother."

Exactly.
That's how I feel.
Why bother.


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Now playing: The Ben Taylor Band - Nothing Compares to You
via FoxyTunes

8-)

Today was shitty.
Until I went to work.
Indescribable.
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Now playing: John Mayer - The Heart of Life
via FoxyTunes

basically.

Well this is one time, well this is one time
That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all...or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee
The places that you've come to fear the most
It's the place that you have come to fear the most

Hmm....

I wonder what people will say about me at my funeral.

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Now playing: James Taylor - Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight
via FoxyTunes

In other words, so sing along for me.

People say happiness is a state of mind. If that were true, it would probably be easier to be happy, right?
I have spent a lot of time attempting to put myself in the mindset of "You can make yourself happy." I've tried to think happy thoughts, look towards the positive.

I have come to the conclusion that you can't do that.

You just can't.

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Now playing: Mayday Parade - Three Cheers for Five Years
via FoxyTunes

oh.

I'm not the jealous type
Who doesn't sleep at night
You've got your karma
I know I've got mine
And all my tears will air dry
With just a little time



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Now playing: The Maine - The Way We Talk
via FoxyTunes